LA Derby Dolls

I think it all started with my obsession with American Gladiators. As a kid, I use to watch syndicated episodes religiously on TNN (remember TNN?), I’ll never quite understand my fixation with ripped guys demonstrating the most ridiculous tasks while wearing patriotic themed spandex (oh, wait I might have figured it out, but I digress.) Following the episodes of American Gladiators was a new show called RollerJam where teams of inline skaters were pitted against each other in a game of roller derby. I loved it!

Fast forward to today, where I am lucky enough to live in a city where the Derby Dolls wreak havoc. The LA Derby Dolls are an all-girl skate league that competes a few times a month at the Doll Factory in Historic Filipino Town. So, we rallied a crew together and booked VIP tix for The Swarm vs. Fight Crew. Upon arrival, we were appropriately frisked and had our purses searched, not very well mind you, as we all managed to sneak our cameras inside. We made our way to the VIP bar where our options were Tecate, Tecate, Tecate or Tecate light. I guess, I’ll have a Tecate, I’d later find out they are the official sponsor of the Derby Gals.

The arena is set up with the track in the center flanked with standing room only areas and bleachers for VIP seating. Happy to have taken the reco. to buy VIP tix from a friend, we arrived about 30 minutes after the doors opened and still had a spot to sit in VIP, money well spent.



Before each game starts, an informative video is played to get newbies up to speed on the rules of the game. Unfortunately, I did not pay very much attention and then needed to have the rules explained to me again at halftime. Here are the basics according to the Dolls site: In each Jam, the two teams square off against one another with 5 skaters per team. The 5 skaters are divided into 4 defensive players known as Blockers and a points-scoring skater, known as a Jammer (identified by a helmet cover with a star).The Blockers skate together in a formation known as a Pack. The Blockers' job is to stop, obstruct or force the opposing Jammer out of play to prevent her from scoring, while at the same time assisting their own Jammer. Once the Jam whistle is blown, the Jammers must fight their way through the Pack and exit it completely to qualify for scoring. The Blockers from the opposing team will try to prevent them from doing so. Once out of the Pack, the Jammers then race to lap the Pack. From this point, each time the Jammer laps a member of the opposing team and passes her in-bounds, she receive one point for her team. – Got it??



The two teams competing were The Swarm, based in San Diego, and the LA Fight Crew. The ladies are outfitted in appropriately themed uniforms, a mix between sultry and badass – fishnets, thigh highs, super snug tanks, booty shorts (impressively, the later did not make for too many wedgie moments during the Jams.) But these girls are tough, they get to dish out some mad hits and get hit hard as a result. The crowd stays on their feet throughout and gets really into it – the bumblebee and lobster mascots’ definitely help raise the energy level – absurd!



At halftime, the parking lot plays host to a number of food trucks to satisfy your beer induced cravings: Hot Dog on a Stick, Gourmet Tamales, Garage Pizza, The Border Grill Truck and plenty of sweet treats. Of course, the group indulged, what’s better than food on a stick at the derby, - that’s right, nothing.

Back in our seats, the scores were neck and neck with each team pulling some pretty impressive numbers on the track. By the last Jam session, the score was tied 115 -115, only to have The Swarm pull through with the big win on the last round, final score The Swarm (118) vs. Fight Crew (115.) On the way out, we posed for some pics with our favorite doll of the night, Lusty Loveless, and swore to return to the Doll Factory sometime soon.



The Days Damage: 5 ($40) VIP Tickets to the LA Derby Dolls $200 + parking $8 + munchies & beer $40 = $248
Item 28: Check